All change again

I am feeling REALLY low at the moment. One of my main carers left yesterday and the other is likely to soon so I have a new carer. I can't describe how utterly difficult, stressful and isolating this is. The person you spent six hours a day with, who knows every detail of many complex routines, who knows every subtle grunt or gesture and is your main companion during the day, vanishes. Then a stranger who knows absolutely nothing apart from the basics which they sometimes remember from a brief shadowing process steps in. The transition gets harder each time as my routines get more complex and my ability to communicate diminishes.


I know its difficult for the new carer and I try to be as patient as possible, laboriously eyegazing additional instructions, tips and the occasional encouraging comment after any stressful scenarios. But the expression "losing the will to live" is, in my case, said without any exageration or humour. And although, even with an established carer, interaction is mainly limited to functional requirements (witty banter is somewhat limited), one still develops a personal/professional hybrid relationship with them (due in part to the intimate nature of some of the care). So when they leave it's impacts emotionally to a degree also.
 
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