Pissed off

Second night in a row to have friends over and not be able to contribute to conversations. Stammer and slurring combining to make me unintelligable. Have left to go on computer. I'm sick of the constant struggle and feeling uncharacteristically defeated

I know that overall I'm still fortunate in that I am still active albeit wheelchair bound. I'm not on a vent yet but each progression still hits hard and although nothing has changed dramatically, in the last couple of weeks there been deterioration in several areas and being almost crippled verbally tonight made me feel isolated and depressed. We have friends over again next week and not really looking forward to it. I don't want to isolate myself socially, I spend too much time by myself as it is, but I'm still finding seeing friends hard as its become yet another activity which only serves to remind me of this bloody illness