Having read my last blog, the nurses thought I would like to go to the hospice's Christmas party! I didn't have high expectations but thought that at least I should make the effort and they took me upstairs to the afternoon session. Picture the scene; 12 people sitting in a circle, predominantly over the age of 70, some with blankets on laps and all with an instrument to shake or bang. Yes, there was going to be a happy clappy sing along session. And there was me, 30 years younger, wearing my Pink Floyd T shirt, thankful I had a rock solid excuse for not being able to join in!
This is what someone who is serving a prison life sentence, knowing they are innocent, must feel like. I shouldn't be here, I don't belong here, I am not 'one of them'. Call it denial or a survival strategy but I just won't accept it. And it is intollerably and desperately depressing to know that I have to eventually accept that I am wrong.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
I thought my brother wasn’t “one of them” either. He was 34 when he died in a hospice. He was a good guy Steve. And so are you. It’s just not fair.
I have learned that life, wonderful as it may be when it is going well, comes with no guarantee. My brother had 28 more years than 20 schoolchildren shot dead in Connecticut this week. He was older than three of the six adults that were killed alongside them. That alone should help me to understand that life is not measured simply by the number of birthdays a person has.
Most of us dream of a long and happy life, of a contented retirement with good health, and maybe peacefully coming to terms one day that we have lived and are ready to go. Most of us will not fulfil that dream.
Thanks, as ever, for keeping me posted Steve. We have probably communicated more in the last few years than we would have done if we both lived to 100 if you had not taken the effort to do this blog, post on facebook and email. I feel your pain; if there was anything I could do to help I would do it.
RichardV
Steve - you'll never be 'one of them'.
No you're not one of them so get home as soon as you can Steve. Caroline
Post a Comment