Post Cruise Blues

So back to sitting in the garden and feeling rather low. Not primarily because the cruise is over but because some of the things which were getting difficult before the cruise are now impossible. There is an element of 'use it or lose it' with this. In any event you're going to lose it but refraining from something for a week or more will accelerate it.


In my indoor wheelchair I had been able, albeit with great difficulty, to pivot my right forearm upwards at the elbow, allowing me to use my strategically placed tissue to wipe my nose or scratch an itch on my face. I haven't been able to do this for some time on the outdoor wheelchair because of subtle differences in armrest positioning. So having been unable to do this action for 2 weeks, I have lost the ability permanently now I am back in the indoor chair. So when I have a coughing episode which causes my eyes to water (and subsequently sting like hell), saliva to run down my chin and chest and snot to stream from my nose, I have to wait for someone to clean me up and if I time it badly, it could be an hour or two.

Similarly the variation in joystick positioning meant that for 2 weeks the tiny amount of strength remaining in whichever muscle I used to turn left on the indoor wheelchair has gone completely. Finally I can no longer turn on my side in bed. Again, maybe this ability would have been lost over the next month or two but not being able to do it for 2 weeks has accelerated the process. Last night I woke feeling a little short of breath but was unable to turn on my side or even move enough to reach the bed control to raise the bed. I can't think of any solutions. I am also nervous about using the ventilation equipment alone in case I have a coughing episode.

I am running out of solutions to the problems, partly because solutions don't exist but also because I am running out of the will to find them; a situation which I find more difficult cope with than the actual problem.
 
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