Pre Christmas TV is a bit of a nightmare. So many programmes involving cooking and every other advert is for mouth watering food, none of which I will be eating.
I have pretty much given up eating and drinking. Even the latte I enjoyed each morning usually makes me cough as it goes down the wrong way. Not only is it fairly unpleasant but I am also very aware that aspiration is the most common cause of chest infection and pneumonia. So it really isn't worth the risk. This will be the first year I won't be able to eat Christmas dinner. I didn't anticipate how much I would miss eating and drinking. The emphasis by health professionals on the nutritional requirements being satisfied through PEG tube feeding fails to prepare you for missing the tastes and social aspects of food and drink. Obviously there is nothing to stop me being involved at meals but watching everybody else tucking in isn't much fun.
A good pint of beer, bacon sandwiches, crispy duck and chicken jalfrazi are all history along with everything else. I really miss them, and being reminded of them all evening on TV doesn't help.
Its not the the only thing getting me down. This cold weather is almost totally confining me to the house. The effort and logistics required to get out is limiting it to planned excursions. Spontaneous outings either by myself or for example, to the park with the boys, have ceased. And by the time warmer weather returns, wheelchair control might not be possible.
On a more positive note, we have just brought last year's live christmas tree in from the garden for its second christmas, so barring some freak accident involving falling off the toilet, it looks like I will share the christmas tree's good fortune.
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